forgive的用法和辨析

　　一些关于原谅的观察修问题

　　1.Ask yourself, AM I READY OR ABLE TO FORGIVE THIS PERSON? If not, we can continue to work with our mind, to continue to cultivate loving kindness and compassion. Then we can check back and ask ourselves again a while later. It might take a few days, or weeks. In some cases it might be months or even many years before we feel we can forgive someone. And in some cases it isn’t possible for us to do it.

　　问自己，我真的已经准备好原谅这个人了吗?如果还没有，我们可以继续修心，持续培养善良和慈悲，一段时间后再问问自己同样的问题。可能是几天或几周，或许有些情况下要花几个月或者若干年的时间才会真正觉得能够去原谅，甚至在一些极端情况下我们根本无法做出原谅。

　　2. If you feel you would like to forgive them, you can ask yourself, WHY AM I FORGIVING THEM? WHAT IS MY MOTIVATION? DO I WANT TO HELP THEM, OR ONLY TO DEVELOP MY OWN PRACTICE? It is important to be honest in answering this for ourselves.

　　如果你觉得可以原谅那些人了，接着问问自己：我为什么要原谅他们?原谅的动机是什么，是为了帮助他们，还是只为了增上自己的修行?要如实回答这个问题，这对我们很重要。

　　3. If you have some sense of wishing for their well-being, then you are already beginning to forgive. Ask yourself, HOW CAN I EXPRESS FORGIVENESS SKILLFULLY?WHAT WOULD BE MOST HELPFUL? In many cases it may not be advisable, or even possible, to speak directly to the person who did the harm, but it may be possible to communicate forgiveness in another way, such as through a symbolic gesture that is meaningful to you.

　　如果你开始产生一些为了他们好的感觉，这才是真正开始原谅了。再问问自己，我如何善巧地表达原谅?怎么做帮助最大?很多情况下，直接去和那个人交谈是不太恰当，甚至不太可能的，但或许用一个对你有象征意义的手势之类的其他方式来表达谅解就有可能了。

　　If you feel you cannot forgive someone, don’t be hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself and keep practicing, keep working with your mind. Little by little, you may begin to feel different about the situation. But if for now you can’t forgive, don’t worry. Focus on being kind to yourself and others. That is a wonderful way of bringing benefit into the world, whether or not you forgive this particular person, this particular event, or not.

　　如果你觉得无法原谅某个人，也不要对自己太苛刻。善待自己并持续练习，不断与自心好好相处，慢慢地就会感觉不太一样了。即便此时此刻你无法原谅，也别担心。把注意力集中在善待自己和他人上，不论你是否原谅了眼前的这个人或这件事，这都是一种利益世界的美妙方式。